AuthorEmily Austin
NarratorEmily Tremaine
Duration8h
CategoriesAdult Fiction, Literature, LGBTQ+ Literature
PublisherW.F. Howes
VersionUnabridged
Meet Gilda. She cannot stop thinking about death. Desperate for relief from her anxious mind and alienated from her repressive family, she responds to a flyer for free therapy at a local church and finds herself abruptly hired to replace the deceased receptionist Grace. It's not the most obvious job - she's queer and an atheist for starters - and so in between trying to learn mass, hiding her new maybe-girlfriend and conducting an amateur investigation into Grace's death, Gilda must avoid revealing the truth of her mortifying existence.
A blend of warmth, deadpan humour, and pitch-perfect observations about the human condition, Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead is a crackling exploration of what it takes to stay afloat in a world where your expiration - and the expiration of those you love - is the only certainty.
A BUZZFEED 'HIGHLY ANTICIPATED BOOK' FOR 2021
Introducing the bumbling, anxious, helplessly kindhearted heroine we all need right now. Gilda might be an accidental Catholic, a lapsed lesbian, and an inept receptionist, but she's awfully good at helping us reckon-hilariously, tenderly-with our impending deaths. ? Courtney Maum, author of I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You
As a queer woman whose brain can be a terrifying place, I devoured this novel about a panic-ridden lesbian who hides her sexuality to work at a Catholic Church. While the narrator is anxious beyond measure, the prose is self-assured - brisk and effortless, moving through time and space with ease. At its core, the novel is about the fragility of human life, kept fresh with an intriguing mystery and subtle moments of tenderness. Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead is a dreary truth but a delightful read. ? Anna Dorn, author of VAGABLONDE
Everyone in this book will touch your heart. Austin's writing is spare yet exciting, each page sparkles with keen observation about the fleeting nature of life, yes, but also our profound ability to make lasting impact on those around us. I already can't wait to read what she writes next. ? Steven Rowley, New York Times bestselling author of The Editor
Anxious death-obsessed lesbians unite! I cackled and cringed in recognition while following the exploits of Gilda, who is plagued by intrusive thoughts about death and the absurdity of the human condition. Emily Austin is a unique and wry writer, and her debut novel manages to be both hilarious and profound, a winning combination. ? Celia Laskey, author of Under the Rainbow
The perfect blend of macabre and funny ? Buzzfeed
There's some strange magic at play here. A book about the anxiety of being someone else that possesses a genuine warmth and comfort? A book about death and depression that's laugh-out-loud funny? A book written in straightforward unadorned prose that nonetheless feels entirely distinctive? I don't know how Emily Austin does what she does, and honestly I don't care. I just want more. ? Sean Adams, author of The Heap
Emily Austin's protagonist, Gilda - an atheist, animal-loving lesbian who has worried about death since childhood-spoke directly to the deepest, darkest parts of myself. Did I mention that she's also hilarious? This is not just a tender-hearted story, it swerves like a thriller, and I couldn't put it down. ? SARA QUIN, band member of Tegan and Sara, co-author of New York Times bestseller High School
Dark, edgy humor and starting to buzz ? Library Journal, Spring/Summer Bests
Gilda, Emily Austin's anxious and endearing hero, is a dream. It's impossible not to root for her as she navigates love, religion, mental health and everything in between. Too often our heroes are bigmouths who take up outsized space in the world. Everyone...
Karen Pirie Book 2: A Darker Domain
Author: Val Mcdermid
Author Val Mcdermid
Narrator Eilidh Fraser
SeriesKaren Pirie, Book 2
Duration 12h 56m
1984. The miners' strike is dividing the country. In a struggling coal-mining town, the miners and their families are living at the edge of their resources. On the 14th of December, five miners break ranks to travel to Nottingham and work. For those who stay behind, this is an unforgivable betrayal. Twenty-three years later, a young woman is asking...
View Book
Author: Emily Austin
Author Emily Austin
Narrator Natalie Naudus
Duration 8h 12m
Enid is many things: lesbian, serial dater, deaf in one ear, space obsessive, true crime fanatic. When she's not listening to grizzly murder podcasts, she's managing her crippling phobia of bald people and trying hard not to think about her mortifying teenage years - which is hard, when she's lost the password to her old YouTube account and the (ma...
View Book
Author: Val Mcdermid
Author Val Mcdermid
Narrator Saul Reichlin
Duration 13h 17m
In the north of England, single women are beginning to disappear from weddings. A pattern soon becomes clear: Someone is luring the women away, only to leave the victims' bodies in their own burned-out cars in remote locations. Tony and Carol are called upon to investigate but this may be the toughest case they've ever had to face. Meanwhile, Detec...
View Book
Karen Pirie Book 4: Out of Bounds
Author: Val Mcdermid
Author Val Mcdermid
Narrator Kathleen Mccarron
SeriesKaren Pirie, Book 4
Duration 12h 59m
A stunning new cold case novel from internationally bestselling crime writer Val McDermid about a car crash that opens up an unsolved murder from decades before Internationally bestselling author Val McDermid is one of our finest crime writers, whose gripping, impeccably plotted novels have garnered millions of readers worldwide. In her latest, Out...
View Book
Karen Pirie Book 1: The Distant Echo
Author: Val Mcdermid
Author Val Mcdermid
Narrator Tom Cotcher
SeriesKaren Pirie, Book 1
Duration 14h 12m
On a freezing morning four drunken students stumble upon the body of a woman in the snow. Rosie has been raped, stabbed and left for dead in a cemetery. The only suspects are the four young men now stained with her blood. 25 years later the police mount a 'cold case' review of Rosie's unsolved murder and the four are still suspects. But when two of...
View Book
Author: Jeffrey Eugenides
Author Jeffrey Eugenides
Narrator Nathan Osgood
Duration 24h 17m
'I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day of January 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974.' So begins the breathtaking story of Calliope Stephanides and her truly unique family secret, born on the slopes of Mount Olympus and passed on through thr...
View Book
Tony Hill and Carol Jordan Book 9: Splinter the Silence
Author: Val Mcdermid
Author Val Mcdermid
Narrator Saul Reichlin
SeriesTony Hill and Carol Jordan, Book 9
Duration 12h 47m
When psychological profiler Tony Hill comes across a series of suicides among women tormented by vicious online predators, he begins to wonder if there is more to these tragedies than meets the eye. Could it be murder? But what kind of serial killer wants his crimes to stay hidden? Tony and DCI Carol Jordan begin the hunt for the most dangerous and...
View Book
Rebecca: The Woman's Hour Serial
Author: Daphne Du Maurier
Author Daphne Du Maurier
Narrator Harriet Walter
Duration 3h 14m
When Maxim de Winter brings his shy new bride to his beautiful stately home on the Cornwall coast, it seems like all her dreams have come true. But she soon finds that Manderley is haunted by the shadow of Maxim's first wife, Rebecca, who died the year before. As the hot summer fades, the mystery of Rebecca's death grows, weaving a spell of fear an...
View Book
Tony Hill and Carol Jordan Book 11: How the Dead Speak
Author: Val Mcdermid
Author Val Mcdermid
Narrator Saul Reichlin
SeriesTony Hill and Carol Jordan, Book 11
Duration 12h 16m
After an explosive case that forced Tony Hill and Carol Jordan to reassess everything they thought they knew about right and wrong, both are dealing with the fallout in their own separate ways. While Tony must pay the price for his actions, Carol is conducting investigations into suspected miscarriages of justice. But when a shocking discovery is m...
View Book
Author: Alice Oseman
Author Alice Oseman
Narrator Huw Parmenter
Duration 9h 50m
The third novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman - one of the most talked about YA writers in recent years. For Angel Rahimi life is about one thing: The Ark - a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark's fandom has given her everything she loves - her friend Juliet, her dreams, her place in...
View Book
