Sample may contain unsuitable content.
Audiobook streaming provided by:
Share this book:
AuthorJane Fallon
NarratorZoe Telford
Duration12h 2m
CategoriesAdult Fiction, Romance, Humour and Comedy
PublisherPenguin Books Ltd
VersionUnabridged
Penguin presents the audiobook edition of Getting Rid of Matthew by Jane Fallon, read by Zoe Telford.
What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie and their two daughters and move into your flat, just when you're thinking that you might not want him anymore . . .
PLAN A: Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line. Tell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks. Stop having sex with him. Pick holes in the way he dresses. Don't brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or pluck out the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chin. Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around.
PLAN B: Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie. Give yourself a fake name and identity. Befriend Sophie. Actually begin to really like Sophie. Snog Matthew's son (who's the same age as you by the way. You're not a paedophile). Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity. Befriend Matthew's children. Unsuccessfully. Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong.
Getting Rid of Matthew is the sharp and hilariously funny novel from Jane Fallon.
If We're Not Married By Thirty
Author: Anna Bell
Author Anna Bell
Narrator Rebecca Courtney
Duration 12h 5m
A brilliantly funny, romantic and effervescent read, If We're Not Married by Thirty is the irresistible new novel from the bestselling author of The Bucket List to Mend a Broken Heart and It Started With a Tweet. Lydia's not exactly Living Her Best Life. She never imagined she'd be here at thirty - newly single, a job that's going nowhere and her f...
View BookAuthor: Jane Fallon
Author Jane Fallon
Narrator Jo Joyner
Duration 10h 8m
Brought to you by Penguin. Welcome to The Close - a beautiful street of mansions, where gorgeous Stella is the indisputable Queen Bee . . . It is here that Laura, seeking peace and privacy after her marriage falls apart, rents a tiny studio. Unfortunately, her arrival upsets suspicious Stella - who fears Laura has designs on her fianc‚, Al. W...
View BookComing Home To the Comfort Food Cafe
Author: Debbie Johnson
Author Debbie Johnson
Narrator Madeleine Hyland
Duration 9h 8m
Moving to the little village of Budbury, Zoe hopes the crisp Dorset sea breeze and gentle pace of life will be a fresh start for her and her goddaughter, Martha. Luckily for them both, the friendly community at the caf‚ provide listening ears, sage advice, shoulders to cry on and some truly excellent carrot cake. And when Martha's enigmatic,...
View BookAuthor: Jane Fallon
Author Jane Fallon
Narrator Joanna Bobin
Duration 11h 44m
Brought to you by Penguin.The bestselling author of Getting Rid of Matthew and My Sweet Revenge tells the story of a woman living in her sister's shadow.When it comes to genes, life is a lottery . . .Abi knows that all too well, having spent her life in the shadow of her beautiful, glamorous older sister Cleo.Headhunted as a model at sixteen, Cleo...
View BookSummer At the Comfort Food Cafe
Author: Debbie Johnson
Author Debbie Johnson
Narrator Dawn Murphy
Duration 9h 50m
The Comfort Food Cafe is perched on a windswept clifftop at what feels like the edge of the world, serving up the most delicious cream teas, beautifully baked breads and carefully crafted cupcakes. For tourists and locals alike, the ramshackle cafe overlooking the beach is a beacon of laughter, companionship and security - a place like no other, a...
View BookAuthor: Jane Fallon
Author Jane Fallon
Narrator Various
Duration 12h 17m
Tamsin and her best friend Michelle have been inseparable since they were teenagers. Even now they spend all their time together, along with Patrick, Michelle's handsome husband. So when Tamsin hears a rumour that Patrick is having an affair, she is furious and plots a scheme to catch him in the act, using her assistant Bea as live-bait. It should...
View BookAuthor: Sue Townsend
Author Sue Townsend
Narrator Angela Thorne
Duration 7h 24m
When a Republican party wins the General Election, they strip the royal family of everything and send them to live on a housing estate in the Midlands. Exchanging caviar for boiled eggs, servants for a social worker named Trish, the Queen and her family learn what it means to be poor among the great unwashed. Is their breeding sufficient to allow t...
View BookNursery Crimes Series Book 1: The Big Over Easy
Author: Jasper Fforde
Author Jasper Fforde
Narrator Luke Thompson
SeriesNursery Crime, Book 1
Duration 11h 6m
It's Easter in Reading - a bad time for eggs - and no one can remember the last sunny day. Humpty Dumpty, well-known nursery favourite, large egg, ex-convict and former millionaire philanthropist, is found shattered beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. Following the pathologist's careful reconstruction of Humpty's shell, Detective Inspector Jac...
View BookAuthor: P.G. Wodehouse
Author P.G. Wodehouse
Narrator Various
Duration 2h 28m
Bertie Wooster looks pretty stylish in his new Tyrolean hat - or so he thinks: others, notably Jeeves, disagree. But when Bertie embarks on an errand of mercy to Totleigh Towers, things get quickly out of control and he's going to need all the help Jeeves can provide. There are good eggs present, such as Gussie Fink-Nottle and the Rev. 'Stinker' Pi...
View BookThe Corner Shop In Cockleberry Bay
Author: Nicola May
Author Nicola May
Narrator Penny Scott-Andrews
Duration 8h 10m
Rosa Larkin is down on her luck in London, so when she inherits a near-derelict corner shop in a quaint Devon village, her first thought is to sell it for cash and sort out her life. But nothing is straightforward about this legacy. While the identity of her benefactor remains a mystery, he - or she - has left one important legal proviso: that the...
View Book